REVIEW: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles- Out of the Shadows

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows is a film that, against all odds, I was looking forward to. It's no secret that I wasn't a fan of the first entry in this new generation of Turtles films, and I've absolutely no qualms in saying that, while 1990's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is undoubtedly the best film adaptation of the property, the notably sillier Secret of the Ooze will forever be my favorite. Out of the Shadows appeared to be taking a turn for the absurd, which is exactly the direction I wanted to see it go in. The first film was a soulless, unfocused mess; when a film takes itself seriously, it opens itself up to deeper critique. You can't exactly brush away plot holes and lazy writing with "well it's not trying to be serious" when a film is very clearly attempting (and failing) to do just that. TMNT is one of those rare franchises that can flourish both in the realm of serious quality (the original 90's film, the 2003 cartoon series, the original Mirage comics, etc.) and hilarious cheese (the 80's cartoon, Secret of the Ooze, etc.); considering the creative team behind the 2014 film clearly lacked the skill to convincingly pull off the former, it was a smart move to put all their proverbial chips on the latter. As a wise man once said, "if I can't be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst."

After escaping from prison, The Shredder (Brian Tee) means to collect a series of extraterrestrial maguffins that will open a portal to the otherworldly realm of Dimension X, heralding the arrival of the evil alien warlord, Krang (Brad Garrett) and his massive doomsday machine, the Technodrome. Naturally, it's up to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Pete Ploszek, Alan Ritchson, Noel Fisher, and Jeremy Howard) to stop him. The plot is standard fare and should be familiar to anyone with even the slightest prior knowledge of the Turtles' cartoon exploits. Once again, the evil Shredder attacks, these turtle boys cut him no slack, roll credits. There's also a totally unnecessary subplot involving the Turtles debating whether or not to use a canister of purple mutagen ooze to become human. The payoff is exactly what one would expect (spoiler alert, the next film won't be called Teenage Mutant Ninja People) and it's swept under the rug just in time for the bombastic climax to take center stage. It's loud, colorful, and stupid, but then that's not necessarily a bad thing.

At the end of the day, different films must be held to different standards; a movie should be judged on how well it succeeded in accomplishing what it set out to do. It's why I can call a film like Robocop or Krampus a near perfect movie without a hint of irony. The 2014 Turtles movie tried to be an action blockbuster worthy of going toe-to-toe with the MCU; considering it was a lazy, stupid cash-grab, it obviously failed. Out of the Shadows has embraced its place in the cinematic circle of life and sets out to be nothing more than a stupid, cheesy, live-action cartoon and mostly succeeds. It's only when it tries to break free from this cornball mold that its myriad flaws become apparent and irritating (instead of endearing and hilarious). Like Secret of the Ooze, this is pretty objectively a bad movie. But also like Secret of the Ooze, I found myself having a lot of fun with it regardless.

Additions like the long-awaited live-action premier of characters like Krang, Bebop (Gary Anthony Williams), and Rocksteady (Sheamus) lend the movie an air of authenticity compared to the film that preceded it; it actually feels like it was made by people who knew and appreciated what they were working with this time around, and that small bit of effort goes a long way in terms of making an enjoyable piece of entertainment. The Turtles are very much the main characters, Shredder is a simple samurai in body armor, and the Technodrome has a big, robotic eyeball on top of it. Sadly, despite all the fun, there's still a number of Platinum Dunes trappings that occasionally pull you out of the Saturday-morning stupor the film creates; Stephen Amell gives one of the worst performances I've ever seen as Casey Jones (now a beat cop for the NYPD instead of a sporting goods themed vigilante, for whatever reason). It's a real shame, since he seemed genuinely excited to be in the film. Whether his performance is due to poor direction or just a lackluster take on his part, I'm not entirely sure, but his inclusion feels somewhat superfluous considering everything else the film has to offer. In a movie with massive mutants and alien brains and Technodromes, there's really not much for New York hockey man to do.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows is this modern series' timid first steps into the realm of eye-rolling cheese, a place where this franchise has been perfectly comfortable and prosperous in the past. The Turtles themselves are endearing and fun, the action is madcap and inventive, and the villains are big, bumbling, and corny. It's the 80's cartoon brought to life, and once the series decides to drop the half-hearted attempts at legitimate drama (I'm looking at you, pointless mutagen subplot) and embraces its cheeseball roots, I'm sure it'll be a spectacularly fun time rather than a merely-decent diversion. Out of the Shadows almost had it right, but abandoning all dignity is a daunting thing for a big-name action blockbuster to commit to; the dial is left and a modest 7, when it should have been cranked as far past 10 as it would allow. It's that lack of commitment that makes this movie an inoffensive piece of schlock instead of a memorable piece of schlock.